Online Poker Report

Funniest Poker Jokes

Most poker players take the game very seriously. And, so it should be because poker is a serious game. But, we have a slightly different approach. We believe that poker can be genuinely funny. After all, the main goal, at least the way we see it, is to have fun.

 

Below you'll find a list of jokes that happen to contain both poker and laughter:

 

1. A gambler walks into a butcher's shop and asks the butcher: "Do you ever gamble?" Although the butcher thoughy that the question was quite unusual, he answered "Yes." Pleased with the butcher's response, the gambler said: "I bet you $50 that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks from the ceiling." The butcher said "No way, no how." "But, you said you were a gambler" the gambler retorted. "Well, yeah," said the butcher "But, in this case, the steaks are too high."

 

2. In a far away land called Texas, six friends by the names Sweet Jim, One Keg Larry, Smokin' Jack, Sour Sam and One-Eyed Ed gathered in a local bar to play some friendly poker. The game has indeed started on a friendly note. However two hours into the game, Sour Sam was busted cheating. The other game participants were already pretty drunk and so a gunfight broke. During the unfortunate incident , Sweet Jim got a bullet to his heart and died on the spot. All the other people in the bar got pretty upset. However, not because a man died but because they did not want the authorities to find out about the game (poker was illegal then). However, the owner of the bar said that he's take care of everything.

 

The very next day, the bar had a new menu with a special special: "Sour and sweet meatballs dish for $2."

 

3. Peter Pan, a smart blond and a dumb blond are engaged in a game of poker.

 

Question: Who do you think will win?

 

Answer: The dumb blond, obviously. Because the other two don't even exist!

 

4. There are only two rules to successful poker play: 1. Never reveal to others everything you know. 2....

 

5. Two dog owners run one into another. They start talking about their pets each bragging about his own. "Mine, was the smartest dog I ever had," said one. "He was as a Cocker Spaniel that used to play cards very well. He was a wonderfull poker player, but unfortunately, I had him put to sleep," he added. "Why have you put to sleep such a brilliant dog?" wondered the other guy. So, the first guy answered "It was inevitable 'cuz I caught him cheating!"

 

Hope you had fun!